Plan 9-9-9 From Outer Space by Karen Garcia


by Karen Garcia (Reprinted with permission),October  14,

Musings on politics and popular culture

Plan 9-9-9 From Outer Space

Since today seems to be National Pile On Herman Cain Day, I thought I would join the fray before this latest in a long line of fake Republican candidates implodes and Mitt Romney is crowned the winner and makes Ambien obsolete. Today is the day that Paul Krugman wrote that the thought of a Herman Cain presidency “terrifies” him. And to think it was only a few months ago that Michele Bachmann was terrifying everybody with her imminent accession to the White House in the new Theocracy of America. It was only last week that editorialists were warning of Rick Perry Armageddon. Before that, it was Donald Trump casino-izing and birtherizing and overcombing the world. And Sarah Palin was primed to put her manicured red fingernail on the Big Red Button. 

The Republican cavalcade of lunatics is an infinity of mirror images, each one more grotesque than the last.  They have served their purpose by deflecting attention away from what passes for government in Washington. Liberal pundits in general and MSNBC in particular have used their public arenas to shoot fish in a barrel every single day to save them the trouble of thinking, and to make the failure that is Obama look good.

What will happen when only Mitt Romney is left standing, and Lawrence O’Donnell can’t open every show with ridiculing the latest Gingrichism and spending hours every week waxing shocked at Michele Bachmann’s crazoid utterances? Gail Collins will be reduced to repeating her dog-on-the-roof Romneyisms without the comic relief of Ron Paul. The weekly game shows known as the Republican Debates will come to a crashing halt. Whatever will the punditocracy talk about then?

The inconvenient truth is that Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are mirror images of each other. Each panders to his supposed base.  Each is a right-of-center fiscal conservative.  Their insurance company giveaway health plans are identical. No matter who is elected, each man would serve as apparatchik of Bush’s Fourth Term.  

But back to the Hermanator. It’s a lazy Friday, so I’ll just add my voice to the thousands of others in saying his 9-9-9 Tax Plan is a joke. It seems to have been stolen from a video game called Sims City 4. It will crush the lower classes. It has no basis in reality. Even Cain can’t explain it. But this week he’s at the top of the polls. So the Serious People are pretending to take him seriously aimply because he is so seriously nuts and might be the next president! Seriously!

Now Playing:  Limited  Engagement  Only!


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